to be continued

 It does not work for my first try.

 It’s a chaotic one anyway. Talking my grand ma and him.

I sometimes cannot figure it out my sadness it’s for my grandma or for him.

Or precisely speaking , my enormous sadness is because I forever lose my grand ma who is the one I can share my every lose and toxic relationship and she will always be my side.


I guess I can well control my tear now when I thinking about my grandma, but I still cannot believe things  just happened. 

Again, my brain is too chaotic to keep going on ‘

I hope this time it can save successfully

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first try

  I am trying to figure out how it works, hope it works as the way I’m thinking. My therapist asked me to write down my diary , I used to write it down with another social media account which only followed by my two best friends.  I told them I just need some audience cuz I always need someone’s attention. So, I just selfishly get them involved in every difficulties I met, every relationship I lost, every sadness I had before. However, this time will be really different. I lost my grandma who is my best friend, my closest family. I barely have hope I can recover in a short term through share the feeling with them, so I do not wanna bother them this time.  I hope this website will work Let’s see!
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It just another barrier I am working on it

 It’s been three years. I am not pretty sure if it is getting better. Probably not, I’m still painful, when everything come to me. Those days and night, Beaches and sunshine. It was not last for a long time even so much shorter than the time I used for missing it. Just like what my therapist suggest to do  I will just put it here when every time it comes to me  And also practice to leave it to God
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