It just another barrier I am working on it

 It’s been three years.

I am not pretty sure if it is getting better.

Probably not, I’m still painful, when everything come to me.

Those days and night,

Beaches and sunshine.

It was not last for a long time even so much shorter than the time I used for missing it.

Just like what my therapist suggest to do 

I will just put it here when every time it comes to me 

And also practice to leave it to God

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first try

  I am trying to figure out how it works, hope it works as the way I’m thinking. My therapist asked me to write down my diary , I used to write it down with another social media account which only followed by my two best friends.  I told them I just need some audience cuz I always need someone’s attention. So, I just selfishly get them involved in every difficulties I met, every relationship I lost, every sadness I had before. However, this time will be really different. I lost my grandma who is my best friend, my closest family. I barely have hope I can recover in a short term through share the feeling with them, so I do not wanna bother them this time.  I hope this website will work Let’s see!
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The second Spring

 I hadn’t had  lose anyone and I had have meet my life long friend in the last two year spring, Melbourne. Things just happened, and I was busy and exhausted  last year. Regret and missing invaded me every now and then. I did not feel any fear even though I was suffered and made some important decision last year. My friends and my grand ma were there got my back. I came back Melbourne, after two years.   I still missing him and those days, nights, beaches even though just the common supermarkets. They all sometimes like weapons attacked me. And I miss my grandma. My life is not easy this spring in Melbourne especially when I got attacked by those old memories, and then I will so much more missing my her cuz she is the only reason that I feel I can be coward and step back.
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